Sarah Am-brrr-Gay

I want an apartment where i can read, write, and paint alone. The thought of owning my own apartment excites me still. I want my room to be a library. I want to live alone, come home from work alone, and I want to cook for myself alone. possibly here and there friends but…the peacefulness of it all. No yelling, no one to take care of but myself, and jus a serene atmosphere for myself. I want that, i really want to live that way even for only a little bit. I guess later on having someone I love live with me could be interesting but, overall I just want it to be quiet and finally have a night where I am not woken up by a family member. I want to be left alone… I suppose that thought will be in the back of my mind for a while. I look forward to finally being able to sleep in peace.

andhewasahurricane:

one habit that I posses is having a bias towards other peoples art and writing. Myself trying to be a successful writer and having art as a hobby since 3rd grade have always hated seeing people who also have that hobby and dream. Maybe it is because it makes you realize there are a lot more people out there with the same dream and same things as you. You aren’t the only one capable of dreaming, thus you feel your identity and your dreams are threatened. I see the schools and accomplishes they achieved and then I think “I can’t do what I want to do because there are better people then me. They have more time and education and such.” They are better in school then me yada yada yada. I find comfort in the many examples such as J.K Rowling who was turned down by like 12 publication places and Einstein did horribly in school. however it is a bit discouraging. 

I have these ideas I believe to be good but I wonder if they’re any good. I don’t know, maybe I don’t tr hard enough. I hope the day I publish a book (and I better) will be the day all of my worries are gone. I can’t wait for that moment.

I know I shouldn’t have that habit though. after all its just fueled by the monster of jealousy and me being defensive about my dream. it is my dream…only few actually have their dream carried out though. When it comes to a job based on creativity

:/

discouraged once more